Thoughts and Observations of a Minister

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You will find some of my favorite things, and some of my innermost thoughts.

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Saturday, February 2, 2008

Dealing with Problems

Everyone has problems, yes everyone. Ours just look bigger because they are our problems.
The closer your get to anything the bigger it looks. I have found the problems we deal with are the same problems that others deal with, they are all the same size.
How do we deal with the problems we face in our lives?
The job problems, family problems, sickness, financial, relationships, respect, failures, just to name a few.
First you must step back from it, do not allow the problem to become the focal point of your life.
Stepping back is easy to say but hard to do, here are a few ways to do just that.
Stepping back will allow you to see the problem at its actual size.
First find someone you trust, clergy, uncle, aunt, someone you can trust that will give you honest advice. If you do not have anyone like that in your life, that in itself is a problem,
then look for a professional, take a recommendation from your doctor, or an acquaintance that will give you a person you can call for help.
Just talking to someone will allow your to step back from the problem, verbalizing it will allow you to take it from a worry to a need.
You can now create a plan on how to deal with a need, but a worry is like catching a bird in a jar. When my grandmother was alive, I would go and visit her, she was 96 when she died.
I trusted her, I knew she loved me unconditionally, I also know in the last 5 or 6 years of her life she could not give me much advice. I still went and talked to her, I told her some of the things I was dealing with, I verbalized the problem, that alone helped me to deal with it, she was someone that would listen.
In the Catholic church they have what is called confession, I am not of the belief that a priest can forgive sin, but I do think that the confessional can help alot of people. It allows you to put your finger on what you want to change in your life, it holds you somewhat accountable, it allows you to verbalize your problems.
It isn't the advice you get from the person you trust, it is, you isolation your problem, and someone agreeing with you about getting beyond your problem.
I have a job where people come to me for advice, mostly I listen, and let them know there is an abundant life all around us. The Bible say, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are noble, whatsoever things are just, think on these things. You can not think about your problem all the time and be healthy, or scriptural.
I might add, when I was in the Navy there were times I had no one to talk too. I would write down what problems I was dealing with, like a grocery list, and put it in my pocket, I had a time at the end of the day that I would deal with my pocket list. That kept me from thinking about those things all day long, it kept my worries from controlling me.
I use my computer alot, have you ever had too many windows open at the same time, it really slows the computer down, the same thing happens if you are allowing your mind to worry when you are to be doing something else, kids school grades will go down, adults work will slow down.
Then, if not dealt with properly it will just freeze up.
I am sorry to say, but that is what happens to us if we allow problems and worry to take over our mind.
If someone comes to you with a problem, don't worry about solving it, most the time no one giving advice can solve another persons problem. Just listen, and let them know you are there, let them know of others that have made it, let them know that you believe they can make it.
Be a cheerleader, be a friend, be there, take your time, and listen.

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